It was a day filled with healing information, workshops, networking and a feeling of being ok to just be you. It was amazing to sit in a room of women who you know won't judge you, question you or look down on you because you are all there for the same reason.
The final activity of that day was a drumming circle. A local musician attended to show us how to use music as a healing medium. She brought numerous percussion instruments for us to play. There were drums, maracas, etc. and these wooden frogs with ribbed backs and a whole in the centre so that when you rub the ribs on the back with the wand it makes a croaking sound.
For some reason I was drawn to that frog instrument and I chose it. As the 50 of us sat in a circle we were instructed to follow the beat of the lead drummer with whatever instrument we had chosen. You can imagine what went through my mind....how do I keep the beat with a frog?.....but I did it. Each time my frog croaked I giggled and looked at my therapist who was also laughing. I was the only person to choose a frog, everyone else was beating to their own drum and I was croaking to my on frog. And I knew then and there I wanted to buy one.
Later on the same year I heard that Theo Fleury (retired NHL player and spokesperson for ending child sexual abuse) was coming to speak at a local fundraiser for MPSSAS and I decided I wanted to go. My girlfriend and I went along that evening hoping to hear something inspirational and to help raise money for MPSSAS to continue doing the great work they do. Before the main event there was a silent auction and wine and cheese event. Part of my intent was to help raise money so I wanted to participate in the silent auction. As I walked around and looked at all of the items there really wasn't anything that caught my eye except this beautiful photo taken by a local photographer. It was of a lily pad and flower in full bloom. I am a lover of lilies and decided I needed to bid on that. I placed my bid and off we went to hear Theo speak.
My desire to hear something inspirational was met. The piece of his hour long talk that struck me hardest was when he explained about how he identifies himself with frogs. He has a frog tattoo, he uses a frog symbol on his website, when he was part of a sweat lodge a native person gave him the native name for frog. He is a frog. The significance of the frog for him is that frogs cannot hop backward, they can only hop forward. He uses this to remind himself to never go back to the past and his abuse or struggles resulting from it. He can only move forward and that is what he has done and found healing and success. He is a thriver and a creator of his own future.
As I listened to him speak, I was brought back to that moment at the conference when I was drawn to the frog instrument. Something pulled me there, I could have chosen anything that fit in with the group but that frog was speaking to me. I went out on a limb and stood out from the crowd (which I never do), took a risk and played the frog and it was healing. I also thought about that photo that I had just bid on, why was it the only thing that stood out for me in the silent auction? A lilypad with a lily in full bloom? Why that? I came to the conclusion that there is something to the frog theory and I need to listen to what it is saying to me.
When I left that night I couldn't stop thinking about it and decided that if I won the silent auction there was something to this, if I didn't I would let it go. Days, weeks went by and I hadn't heard anything so I assumed that I had not won. Then the call came. I had won the picture, I could go pick it up at my earliest convenience. There was something to this frog theory and I needed to listen to it.
I immediately began searching for a percussion frog instrument online and couldn't find one at a price that I was willing to spend so I thought I would just keep looking over time and one day something affordable would pop up. I wanted it as a symbol to remind me to only move forward. That winter when my husband and I went on our annual trip to Cuba we were walking along the souvenir path and low and behold there it was, a percussion frog instrument....only one of them.....8 pesos. Needless to say I bought my frog in my favourite place in the world. There is something to this frog theory.
I began really thinking about life and how frogs have fit into it. I have always been drawn to frogs since I was a little girl. Ioved to catch them, watch them and listen to them in the evening on the dock. I loved lily pads. Every time we fish in the boat in the summer I try to get close shots of lily pads and lilies with my camera. I imagined myself as a frog, I meditated on it for many days. Finally I put the pieces together.
Frogs have been following me trying to get my attention. I wasn't listening. Once I really entered a stage in my life where I was focussing wholly on healing and attending therapy regularly, really working hard at it, the frog in me needed to be freed. (Needless to say, now whenever I see a frog of any sort I buy it.)
I was drawn to the frog at the conference, its energy called me. I was drawn to hearing Theo Fleury speak, his energy called me. I was drawn to that lily pad picture, its energy called me. I had to buy that frog on the beach in Cuba, it was waiting for me. I came to the conclusion that, without stealing Theo Fleury's thunder, I am also a frog. I had been sitting on a lily pad, stagnant and trying to jump backward for many many years. It was time to leap from the pad and keep moving. I reminded myself that is is always ok to look back and take the lessons from the past but jumping back won't change anything. Moving forward is the only way to go.
So be a frog! Move forward in leaps and bounds. Don't let anything stop you from making your life exactly what you want it to be. Find the energies calling you and listen.
