Change so I can be happy?

A new concept for you; or at least it is to me:

"Your happiness upsets me"

Have you ever been upset about someone else's happiness? I have had someone tell me that my happiness is disturbing for others around me in the past. I actually made changes in my life and really annoyed others trying to address it.

Since this happened; some time ago; I have paid more attention to other peoples actions and words toward people in their lives or behind their backs (which is more often the case).

If someone is happy, is it not right to be happy for them? I would call it envy but I am not sure that is an accurate description. Don't get me wrong, we all have our envious or insecure moments but the concept of being envious of someone else's life is strange to me. Especially to a point that you allow it to upset you enough to confront the person about it or gossip about them.

Everyone is in control of their own lives. You get to make yours whatever you want. If you want yours to be different do something to change it. You only have control over you. If you want more, GO GET IT! Easier said than done right? I agree, not easy but it is the only way!

So in my situation it boiled down to others expectations of my husband and I that we were not meeting that was upsetting for them. Through all my preaching and practicing "Trade expectation for appreciation" it didn't hit me until this week that I have been trying for years to remain happy in my life and still meet others expectations of me. Not only that; I have been encouraging my husband to change to meet others expectations as well. LIGHT BULB!

Trying to meet others expectations is stressful and not my job. Trying to meet others expectations is not your job either. Having expectations of others leads to disappointment in most, if not all cases.

So today, and every day hereafter, I will live they way I choose and remain happy with my choices. I will not change who I am or how I live to make others happy. I will not ask my husband to change.

I will leave others to control their own lives and if they choose to spend time having expectations of me and being disappointed by my lack of meeting them, it really isn't my issue. It's theirs. I encourage them to reevaluate their own choices.

Life cannot be lived expecting anything from anyone. No human has entitlement to anything other than what they earn themselves (not just monetarily but relationships as well). If you choose to live this way, are you really living a life?

Expectations range from very small to very large. From the size of christmas gifts to parents wills. I have learned to expect nothing of anyone because it always leads to disappointment. I appreciate all of what I receive in relationships with every person in my life.

If I have said it once I have said it a million times. Trade expectation for appreciation......you will find much more happiness in your own life and spend much less time being upset at others.