Passion for Personalization

The best thing I have learned through all of my life experiences is that I AM UNIQUE! My experiences have made me who I am, do what I do, need what I need. This is true for every single person on earth. Some may have similar experiences but what they take away from them is unique. It just makes sense that we communicate our uniqueness when necessary to help us be successful in everything we do. I must admit I am often frustrated by those who feel the rest of the world should conform to "their way" because it is "the right way", there is no right way except for your own. If there are no two exact people in the world how can one way of being match everyone? (Ironically I am in a relationship with one of those people, and it adds to the depth of our relationship)

Some examples :
1. I drive with my index finger pointing at the windshield, my father has an index finger that was injured many years ago and does not bend...I watched him, learned from him and unconciously do what I learned
2. I am uncomfortable with eye contact unless I know people really well and I will not give my eyes as donation when I die, I spent many years avoiding eye contact with my abuser because it was too personal, soul revealing and I refused to let him have that last piece of me, eye contact continues to be personal, soul revealing to me
3. I like to have control, as a kid I felt like everything was done "to me" and I had no choices or control, I wasn't allowed to be myself, express myself so when I got old enough I made sure I controlled what was happening in my life and I have a hard time letting go of that, I don't like surprises, I need to be prepared for everything.
4. My natural facial expression is miserable! honestly, I am very rarely miserable (my kids and husband get to see me miserable) I always look grumpy and have been told this by many...I have also been unfairly judged because of it. I am always smiling on the inside, I promise!

Making these statements does not give me a free ride to be this way regardless of who it effects. What it does do is gives others a better understanding of who I am and the areas that I might be working on growth (if necessary, I kind of get a kick out of cathcing myself pointing at the windshield, little childhood memories).....over time these needs statements change as do our values. Being me doesn't give me a right to say "I am who I am, take me or leave me" We all have a responsibility to ourselves and those around us to evaluate ourselves, learn about ourselves and identify areas that we can grow and become better people....this is a lifelong journey, you never get "there" because with every life experience you respond with a modified way of being. Not one person has ever achieved "perfect". Keep growing.

A number of years ago it was very important to me to take my antidepressant medication every day, now it is important to me to not have to take them and treat my mental illness as naturally as possible, alot more work but I value being medication free as much as possible. I like feeling normal emotions and on those medications I didn't get to feel anything. A big change in my life that took some thinking, writing and planning.

One of the greatest ways I have seen to communicate our uniqueness is a One Page Profile. They are basically a one sheet synopsis of your strengths, values and needs. They communicate information for specific purposes that make a difference, no matter how big or small in people's lives. I have a mom and wife profile, 3 work profiles, resume profile, a health profile....all of these profiles communicate information to a specific audience so they understand me better in the relationship that we have.I AM UNIQUE and want to be treated that way. My children have educational profiles for their teachers and other supports. I have seen pregnancy and birth profiles. They are a fantastic way of communicating the information that you may assume people already know about you but they don't. Only you know you completely and often lack of communicating our needs ends in lack of success, frustration, giving up on our dreams or goals, or a momentary pause in pursuit of our passions.

There are many things that people don't know about me, even those closest to me. My kids were surprised by some of the statements in the profile above.

My desire for people to treat me uniquely led me to help others to pursue this as well. My job is all about personalization, yes I get paid to do what I love to do most. I love to see people exploring who they are and why and letting people know what works for them. It is so useful in living a happy life. Putting pen to paper is so powerful, we can think all day long and store our thoughts but until we write them down and make ourselves accountable to ourselves our thoughts tend to remain rolling thoughts. I write things down, make it concrete and then decide what the next steps are and write those as well. We are who we are because our life experiences have molded us.

Some find it too personal, and intrusive, some find it too mushy and soft. It is not as long as you are only sharing what needs to be shared for specific purposes. I wouldn't tell my doctor the same things I would tell my employer. I only tell  people what they need to know to help me achieve success and comfort in a specific situation. When it is about your success and comfort, what do you have to lose? We all deserve the respect of being considered unique. The old saying, "walk a mile in his shoes" is so true. We cannot judge others because we have not lived their lives and have no idea what motivates their actions. What we can do is LEARN about people, ask questions, try to understand what motivates them, accept that people have a right to be different, share ourselves with others. To me it is just common sense. I want to be the best I can be, keep growing, learning and creating a future that makes sense to me, if other people can understand me better and help me along the way....why not take advantage of that? Less stress, frustration and work for me in the end, and way more smiling (on the inside). Ahhhh....my life is personalized....and it is good!