Spencer West http://nsb.com/speakers/spencer-west/ has inspired my blog today. I saw a documentary about him on televison this past weekend and I was truly inspired. He is a living testimony of all the things I believe to be true but we dont often see in our society.
Spencer lost his legs at age 5. His legs did not function due to a medical condition he had at birth. He and his parents CHOSE to have his legs removed as they were just in the way of him living a full life. What an amazing statement. Doctors told his parents he probably would not live past the age of 12 and not to expect to much from him in those years. Well, he lived far past those expectations and then some. He walks on his hands and he uses a wheelchair. He has a university degree, speaks to groups of people about his life and inspires them to work hard to achieve what they want, travels the world, works full time and has climbed Mount Kilimanjaro ON HIS HANDS! So how did he come to achieve all of this? Luck? Pity? Handouts? None of the above. His brain was trained by his parents to be positive, to believe in all possibilities, to look past the "disadvantage" he has and build a life of his choosing. Legs are not necessary to sustain life.
If there is one message that I wish the whole world could fully understand and hear it is that WHAT WE TELL OUR BRAINS IS WHAT IT BELIEVES AND REPEATS! At the risk of repeating myself I will say that we are all born knowing very basic skills, everything that we hear, see and experience from that moment molds our brain. We may think our kids are too young to understand but the truth is that from the very moment of birth everything we do and say shapes them. Spencer's parents shaped him to be a believer. He continues to be a believer. If they had listened to the doctors and been negative about his prognosis he may have grown to be a very different person.
Take winter as an example. Winter is my least favorite season. I love heat and sun, flipflops and beaches. I love autumn colors and fresh air, I enjoy the refreshing days of spring, winter has mostly been a season that I struggle with. That is until I told my brain differently. Many years ago I would get up on a winter morning and grumble at fresh snow, see it as work, despise the slush as I drove in it. I spent my winters looking out the window wishing for the snow to melt. I dreaded the snow coming starting in about September and hated it until May. What a waste of life.These thoughts dragged my winters on and contributed to my depression. I made my own winters miserable. Since I know misery is optional I decided to change how I talk to myself about winter. I wake up and look at my backyard which is the most beautiful winter scene, I take time to adore the beauty of it. When I drive I make a point of looking above the slush and ice to see the glistening trees and beautiful blankets of fields that lie before me. I dress for the weather and shockingly I am warm. I have decided to like winter, not love it, I like it. I still look forward to spring but since winter is here and I am not mother nature I choose to make my winters happy and find beauty and fun in each day.....and I go to Cuba for my shot of sun!
When we say we can't do something we believe it and we don't do things that we certainly could do. When Spencer was asked in the documentary if he ever wished he had legs or felt like he couldnt accomplish something he said NO until he almost got to the top of the mountain and then he felt like he might need to stop his journey because it could threaten his life and he wished he had legs so he could help his friends get to the top. The only reason he would give up is if it was going to kill him. This speaks volumes. There is always another step to take to reach our goals and if it wont kill us keep trying if we want it bad enough. Spencer kept going with the knowledge that he could stop if it became life threatening, it did not and he reached the top. NEVER SAY NEVER!
I see families that are involved in disputes and they all say they are open to resolving but the other person needs to intiate it. They are choosing to remain in conflict. The emotion attached to family disputes fogs our view of logic. We are hurt, we tell ourselves we are hurt, we tell other people we are hurt, therefore we believe we are hurt and choose not to get past it. In a perfect world each person would stop, remove the emotion, remove the ego, look at the situation logically and communicate about how to work through it. In my opinion God gave us the family we have for a reason and conflict is a test of our character. Tell ourselves that it can be worked out, tell ourselves that it is ok for our family members to choose their lifestyle and we don't have any control over that. Choose to look logically at their point of view and respect it. We can choose when we spend time with family, maybe its only once a year. Maybe its every day. The point is we get to choose, nobody is controlling our thoughts but ourselves and in turn we can choose anything we want.
We are the only people responsible for our thoughts! Think positive, life is positive. No I did not say it's easy. Our brains have been trained negatively for many years, it takes time and energy. The most important things in life are the most difficult to achieve.
People have called me wierd, over the top, unrealistic. Those people are only convincing themselves that being positive is weird, over the top or unrealistic. I wake up every day with a glowing sense of joy in my heart. I live each day happily. It doesn't make life all fairytale like, it makes life meaningful.
I can just imagine the responses Spencer got from people when he said he would climb a mountain on his hands. Imagine the people who probably wished him luck and then whispered that its impossible behind his back; called him wierd, over the top, unrealistic. A quality life is all in how we choose to live it.
Every human being is capable of taking steps to achieve whatever they want in their life.....unless it threatens your life keep trying. Keep talking positively to your own brain, work really hard at not allowing negative energy or thoughts from other people to deter you.
Dreams dont come to you, you have to go get them. Dreams dont have to be big, they can be whatever you want them to be. Dreams dont have to make you famous, they just have to make your life meaningful.
We have to tell ourselves that we can achieve it and we will. We have to live each day looking at the beauty of life through the struggles we all face. We have to choose to make each day happy.
Society has been so well trained to be negative that they see positivity as unrealistic. I once told a journalist that if all media were to only speak positively about winter it would be interesting to see the impact that has on peoples moods and the incidence of some mental health conditions. The journalist laughed at me and said, sure then we can play some silly music and dance like hippies. His brain is trained to be negative about winter. I truly believe if the only messages our brains recieved about winter were positive we would see a huge change in society. Media is a huge part of our day, sending us negative messages.
Spencer also says he is most often embarrased by people calling him a hero or saying they are proud of him because this is just normal to him, its nothing extraordinary, he is living his life to fullest with what he was given.....isnt that the way we are all supposed to live, what is extraordinary about that? He is right, he is not amazing, he is human. The only reason we see him as amazing is because we have trained our brains to believe that some things are not possible so people like Spencer are an exception to the rule. We are all amazing. We can all achieve whatever we want, we choose not to.
The words CANT, ALWAYS, SHOULD and NEVER limit us. Remove them from your vocabulary and life will change. We all have struggles, we all have to work hard, we all have to make choices.
To me it seems to clear and logical and I wish that everyone could see it as clearly. It doesnt make my life perfect or take away hard times, it just makes it easier and more meaningful. Why would we choose to live any other way? Sadly positive people are the minority. Spencer is living proof that a positive attitude is a natural way to live. Hopefully someday people like him become the majority.
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