Some days we don't feel as well as others. But every day we wake up is a good day!
Yesterday was what we would normally call a bad day for me. I knew it was coming. Christmas is always a high time for me and when it is all over and the kids go back to school I hit a low point. I was prepared for it, or so I thought.
I have this hole, I may have spoken of before. It opens up when I least expect it and takes me out for a day. I am starting to pay attention to what opens it up. Loneliness opens it up. I try to fill it with lots of different things but it never gets full until I have the people I love around me and I can feel purposeful in sharing my life with them.
So those days are typically what I used to call "bad days". But yesterday; when I was laying on the couch thinking that if I have to continue to do this for who knows how many years I would rather not be alive; I reminded myself that this is just one day and it will pass and tomorrow will be better. I opened my eyes this day, I am alive, I am blessed and feeling crappy one day doesn't make it a bad day, every day we are alive is a good day! I accepted the day as it was and left it to God to lead me through it.
I wasn't as productive as I could have been yesterday but I followed through with the things I had committed to doing. I made frozen pizza for dinner, but I made dinner. I took a rest during my workout, but I worked out. I had a short phone call with my friend, but we talked.
It's all about adjusting to the day. It's not a bad day, I am alive, it's a good day.
Today I woke feeling better. Today is a better day. My husband phoned this morning and when I asked how he was he replied "Just another day in paradise". And he wasn't being sarcastic or trying to be funny. This is how he actually sees the world. He sees every day as a good day. He has been driving in blizzards all week and is on his way back into the US to finish his week of work only to have to drive back home tonight in more bad weather. He just takes it as it comes. We are in PARADISE. What is not beautiful around us? We are alive! And guess what; when we die we go to an even more beautiful place.
(Another piece of evidence that God has led me; my husband. He led me to him. As odd as our relationship seemed at first with our age difference it just fit perfect and I couldn't deny it. We balance each other, he reminds me that every day is a good day. His view of life is very simplistic, concrete. When I complicate things he untangles them. When he lacks emotion I explain it to him. (I truly believe he has lived with undiagnosed Aspergers Syndrome his whole life) He is black and white, I am grey. I am emotional, he appears as a stone. But that's another whole blog post.)
Paradise. Every day we are alive is a good day. Find something today to be thankful for, something that reminds you that today is a good day even if you feel crappy. It's just another day in paradise.
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