Define Brave

The other day a friend called me brave.

She went on to explain that she felt I was brave because I share my story publicly and I pursued a law suit and I am standing up for what I believe I right. Also because I am working hard to heal. That struck me.

This is a woman who has dealt with her own traumatic childhood event and went on to heal from it later in life.

(Disclaimer: When I say heal I me learn to keep it in its place so you can function as normal as possible, it NEVER goes away.)

Is it bravery that makes me write these blogs? Is it bravery that helped me pursue the law suit? Is it bravery that helps me keep fighting? I don't think so. I think bravery is having the courage to deal with whatever you need to deal with in life. In the case of my friend and I, we have similar experiences to deal with. The fact that we are both still alive and dealing makes us brave. It doesn't matter if something like this happened to you once or a million times, it takes courage to work through it. That makes US brave.

I post here because it helps me to write it down, get it out of my brain. Also because something good has to come of it or my suffering means nothing, if one of these posts can inspire one person, something good has come of it. That's not brave, that's coping.

My fears make me brave
My weaknesses make me strong
Feeling defeated makes me determined

Fear, weakness and defeat are the child Barbie. Bravery, strength and determination are the adult Barbie. They fight each other all the time. Adult Barbie hides child Barbie when she needs to with the mask of strength. Bravery is bringing me to healing just like my friend did and adult Barbie will win the battle.

As far as bravery goes, every woman I  know that has dealt with similar traumas has dealt with it differently, being brave is dealing with it in the best way that works for you. So I guess I am brave after all, not because I write it but because I'm facing it.