Saturday 15 December 2012

Unthinkable tragedy!

The last two days I can't count how many people I have heard say "How does someone get to a point where they snap and shoot children?, He must be a psychopath"

The reality is we are surrounded by people who have the potential to do this. We all have the capability and if your mind is ill the chances of you snapping are so much higher.

I understand how he snapped. I can imagine all of the phases and steps that his life has taken over the last number of years.I have been there I have done that. I never acted on my true urge and belief that taking my own life would be better than living. I keep saying AWARENESS, is key for me. I know that these thoughts are irrational and I stop them. Many years ago, during a bout of illness I even thought that it would be best to take my kids with me; i thought it would be unfair to let them hurt if I was gone so it was best to take them with me. This was a justified thought in my ill brain. I know how the Connecticut shooter got to where he was. The scary thing is even with awareness some people still succeed at ending their lives because they see it as the only choice.

I can tell you that I will never let myself get that ill again and it terrifies me today to remember how close I was....I planned it! It mortifies me to admit that I was at that point. But it was real and it was illness. I thank God for his presence in my life because I think He may be the only reason I am still here.

So please don't judge. Mental illnesses are just as significant as heart attacks, cancer, strokes...you just can't see them. We don't place a stigma on heart or cancer patients, they have a real illness that requires treament to stay alive....mental illness is no different. Without treatment most will die and may take others with them. So why do we stigmatize them?

Depression is not a good word for this illness.....it's not about being sad or down in the dumps. It is an illness that torments your brain and attacks your physical body in ways beyond your control. It requires treatment and support from family and friends to get better. There is always help, there is always a way to get better and maintain health. Think of it as a form of brain cancer......it picks whoever it wants and the person has not control. They need open, honest support from everyone around them in addition to medical treatment to get better. It cannot be ignored and expected to go away. If you ignore it you are just setting up a walking time bomb.

Our communities need to educate, advocate and provide support to everyone around this issue. It is not shameful, it is an illness. Ignorance resulted in 20 young children dying. Untreated mental illness led to 20 children dying. Totally unacceptable.

I share this with you because I want everyone to realize that even the people you would never dream would do something like this can and will do it if they have untreated mental illness. Anyone who knows me would never believe the thoughts and plans that have gone through my head. Thank God I have never acted on them.......who knows who will act on them next!

If you see the signs, don't ignore! Don't pretend that it will just go away. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. Don't try to justify it in your mind. Don't tell the person to suck it up and move on! GET HELP for your loved ones or yourself. You just might save the lives of the next 20 babies in an elementary school. Nobody in their "right" mind would do this, even if he did not have a mental illness diagnosis he was most certainly mentally ill. The mention of Autism is offensive to me and has nothing to do with his actions.

This week brought about an unthinkable tragedy that was preventable if society would open their eyes, brains and hearts to supporting the mentally ill as we do all other illnesses.

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